As I pause in the midst of the race through the month of December, I realised I had never been more relieved to see the end of a year as I am this year. 2014. What a year. Hurricane 2014 had swept by, bringing destruction and havoc with it throughout.
Globally, it was a year that saw natural disasters, disease outbreaks and political and economic crisis. At the personal level, it brought about challenges that tested the very core of my values and my faith. And even as I write, as we approach the last 2 weeks of the year, my close friend and business partner suddenly found himself tackling a hurdle that had been thrown his way last night.
And so, as I am asked to write about the year that is passing, a huge rush of thoughts and feelings flood over me, and I struggle to put them into words. But slowly, as I chose to navigate my emotions, reframe my thoughts and perspectives - I began to have some insights in the midst of the chaos.
Looking back, as I fought through the raging storm that sent winds and waves to hit me over and over again, there were times when I felt that my struggles were futile and that giving up was the only way "out". Even now, as I recover from the aftermath of some nasty lashes of Hurricane 2014, the storm is not entirely over yet. I am still struggling with some strong headwinds, but the sense of futility and hopelessness had subsided a little and I find a little more strength, a little more hope.
Resilience is a topic we talk about often in EQ. We often talk about the need to draw strength from intrinsic motivation, optimism and noble goals to build resilience in the face of adversity. But it is easy to talk about these things in good times, or even in normal times. In the face of difficulties and pain is when the rubber hits the road. When our words and beliefs are tested.
I have learnt that in the darkest of times, when noble goals seemed light years away and too idealistic and unrealistic to lend any strength - all I could do was to muster enough intrinsic motivation and optimism to pull through just ONE MORE DAY. For me, I looked at my son who had just turned 13 and he was my main source of motivation to make it through another day. I turned to God's promises of love for a much needed dose of hope and optimism. And difficult as it was, I found enough of these to make it, one day at a time. I even found a little strength as Annie's song rang in my ears:
"The sun will come out, tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun!
The sun'll come out, tomorrow
So you've got to hang on til tomorrow
Come what may!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, Tomorrow,
You're always a day away!"
And so to all who have been and are still going through tough times - I fully empathise that it is not easy to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I still don't quite see the light yet myself. But maybe, we do not need to see the light at the end to make it through. Perhaps all we need is to find enough intrinsic motivation in the things around us, and scoop up whatever optimism that we can find, to just make it through another day. And slowly, one day at a time, we push through. And then maybe, just maybe, we will last long enough to see the light at the end, eventually.
I share this thought because so many of us find it so difficult to hear about drive, motivation and optimism in hard times. Cheers of "You can do it!", "Be strong" and "Be positive!" sound so cliche, so unreal. And we end up shutting our ears and hearts to them. Recognise that we do not have to wait get into a state of high and "rah-rah" for these to work for us, because if that is what we expect, we may not get there in time. Just know that if we focus on the next step, the next day and find enough strength for that one more step, that is all that matters - at least for this period of time. That worked for me.
And I have also learnt that there is always, always something to be thankful for. I am thankful for the grace and mercy of God that had provided little stepping stones, shelter and support in the midst of the hurricane - without which I would not be here writing this down. And I find myself a little more encouraged as I look back at the battles fought, knowing that if I could make it thus far through Hurricane 2014, by God's grace, I will find enough strength to last more than just another day. And that alone, is victory.
End of 2014 also means that THE EQ EDGE had successfully pulled through a challenging first year. Our first year as a new entity, and despite the odds, despite the obstacles, we made it through.
And so as we bid Hurricane 2014 goodbye - my prayer is that we all find enough strength in taking another step forward towards 2015. Who knows what it will bring? I do not need to find buckets-ful of optimism to make it worthwhile to usher in the new year. All I need to know is that if we do not know what it will bring, there is a glimmer of hope that it might bring better things. For now, that thought alone is enough to bring a relief to my heavy heart, and as I choose to dwell in that moment of positivity and optimism, I find a smile slowly forming on my face and I have a little more strength to sit up, chin up and not just take one step forward but a few. May this hold true for you as well.
Au Revoir, Hurricane 2014. I am ready for you, 2015.
Wishing all a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year.
JACQUELINE ONG
The EQ Edge
Equip and Empower
December 2014