So another year is closing in on us, and it is time yet again to reflect on all that had happened ...
It is difficult enough to offer comfort without mixing up the sentiment. So difficult ...
But is it really true that we do not have a choice in the matter, or the situation? What life ...
The idea is for you to actively take kind, compassionate actions day in, day out...
Why is it SO difficult to communicate? A starting point is a wide-spread lie we tell others...
Can you trust someone you don’t respect? How about respect without trust?
Emotional Intelligence explores how thoughts create feelings. Here’s a deceptively simple tool for you...
Can’t help but think of its similarities about how we make our decisions about our lives that each decision we have made and...
What we all see, is not always the way things really are - that what we see is not necessarily what we get.
How can we make family reunions more meaningful by connecting better with others? Here are some tips as we prepare for a get together this Chinese New Year!
And so as the "new year" rolls on and the sparks of optimism slowly fade away, I'd like to share some thoughts on how we can all start to develop our positivity before we lose the sparks until the next calendar change
Resilience is a topic we talk about often in EQ. We often talk about the need to draw strength from intrinsic motivation, optimism and noble goals to build resilience in the face of adversity. But it is easy to talk about these things in good times, or even in normal times. In the face of difficulties and pain is when the rubber hits the road. When our words and beliefs are tested.
Values impact our perception of the things around us. It changes and dictates how we process information. Like a filter before our eyes, we end up seeing things not as they are but as we see them, through the different “value filters” we wear. These views, in turn, influence our thoughts and feelings – which then shape our actions.
"Your car is ready but there's no rush. Take your time.""Here are your car keys so you don't have to be delayed collecting your car. It's RM15.00." These two statements were said to me within a span of 3-5 minutes as I was having lunch while waiting for my car to be washed. Taken separately or together the messages convey different impressions, which made me think about frontline...
I was driving out of a megamall in the city one night. There was a queue of cars exiting and I was in one of the two lanes of cars waiting to get out of the mall's parking lot. Suddenly, one of the two car exit meters stopped working or rather it went on a "pause mode" and one car stalled briefly for two or three minutes. In no time at all, other cars abandoned their queue...
While handing over the Remittance Form over the counter in a bank, I said to the its frontline staff, "I need a Bank Draft." She replied grimly, "Sign here and here." I complied and asked, "Instead of withdrawing cash, can the bank debit the account?" "Counter 7, wait till she calls you," said the grim-face staff after passing my form over to her colleague...
My emotions after Irene's death have been a roller coaster ride whenever I think of her. It lifts me up when I remember with smiles the fun and crazy times we enjoyed together - the bond we shared while burning the midnight oil encouraging and supporting each other through WhatsApp at 5am while working on our gruelling CELTA course and the joy and relief we felt when we passed; the passion...
Sometime ago I heard a speaker talk about how Moses attained "strength in meekness". When we are experiencing an unpleasant emotion like fury or anger, the accompanying physical reactions vary for each of us. For some of us, our hands clench tightly, our faces get flushed, our hearts will seem to be beating louder than normal. We may experience a tingling sensation of blood rushing..
"But how can I push people and maintain good relationships?" I was surprised by the conversation with one of my clients, a c-level executive in a multinational organization. You might expect a man in this role to be a "driver," but this leader is quite the opposite. He wants to lead, to stand up for what's important, to rally people. At the same time, he values peace and kindness. Can these two exist together?
Have you ever saved anyone's life? My eleven-year old niece did just that. The story is rather remarkable. Elizabeth Marie was in the front room watching TV; she had let the family's pet, Sampson, a large German shepherd, out the door to go to the bathroom. Suddenly, the dog sprinted away from the house and attacked a five-year old boy, who was just ambling past the house and down the street.
I had asked "Irene, so what's your noble goal?" She mischievously replied, "I need to go home and start thinking about it carefully." Irene was a participant at our Certification workshop in June last year. I had posed the question half in jest to Irene during our EQ Practitioner Certification program after a discussion on Pursuing Noble Goals.
It was 8.00am. My task was to write a proposal for a 2 day leadership program. It would take me no more than 45 minutes and then I could return to a weekend with my family. By 10.30am I had responded to 12 emails, donated money to a team charity day, viewed the activity on 3 Linked Groups that I follow and had another 3 windows
I heard a tale recently that appalled and fascinated me at the same time. The tale was told to me as a funny story, a hilarious situation. But I was more circumspect. A girl, about eight or nine, had been out with her sister, parents and grandparents.
I'm a terrible, absolutely awful pool player. But I've noticed something intriguing: In this game, there is only ONE possible action. Hit the white ball. Your only "move," your only way to affect the results, is to hit the white ball. Yet different results occur each time.
Does unconditional love mean you accept people fully - without wanting them to be better? As a parent, does it mean you don't push your kids to do better? As a spouse, does it mean you don't encourage your partner to grow? As a manager, does it mean you accept ho-hum performance?
Over these past months and weeks, I have had friends and participants say to me - "You are teaching EQ so as an expert on the subject you should be able to overcome your personal struggles and handle emotions easily" and "I'm surprised you teach EQ and yet, can think of such things or behave in such a manner".
Over these past months and weeks, I have had friends and participants say to me - "You are teaching EQ so as an expert on the subject you should be able to overcome your personal struggles and handle emotions easily" and "I'm surprised you teach EQ and yet, can think of such things or behave in such a manner".
Is emotional intelligence important for coaches and coaching clients? Why? Coaching clients are looking to create change - and change mostly fails because of a lack of understanding of emotional drivers in people.
As business becomes more complex with globalization, new generations, and the accelerating pace of innovation, the value of "emotionally intelligent leaders" is gaining ground.
Betrayal is a strong feeling that can be di cult to process. Why? Because the trauma of the betrayal creates fear, shame, secrets, and intensity.
Why, why, why? Have you ever asked yourself that? Have you been in situations with too many whys and not enough answers to go around? I find myself asking this question almost every day.
If you are taking on the role of leader, you have multiple roles to perform. I would like to "wear" a few of those hats for you and remind you of the purpose is to be an exemplary leader, inspiring all who fall onto your path.
There is a growing research on the link between likability and authenticity and trustworthiness. Even witnesses, providing court testimony, are viewed as more credible if - in addition to appearing trustworthy, knowledgeable, and confident - are also likable.
Since 2007 we've asked leaders and team members to identify the top issues facing their organizations. The survey explores top issues as well as employee attitudes and the role of emotional intelligence in solving those key issues.
I sent my faithful 4-wheeler into the workshop recently for its regular maintenance service. Little did I realize that there were potential problems waiting to happen!
Putting ourselves in someone else's shoes sounds so cliche these days. Most of us know what it means, and some even claim to know how to do it! I have to admit that I haven't really quite grasped its full meaning and potential.
Rapport building is so easy and yet, can be such an elusive and daunting task for most people. When our hearts are in the right place, everything falls in place very nicely.
I had my tonsils out when I was thirteen. To keep me occupied during the recovery, my mother gave me a paint-by-numbers set. I loved it. Just follow the numbers and out came this gorgeous painting of a horse.
Among the key areas that differentiate top performers from average performers is an individual’s ability – leader, employee, frontline or back-office - to apply Connecting Skills.
Twenty years ago when I began teaching in the graduate program at Notre Dame de Namur University for individuals earning a credential or master's in education, I started a ritual. It was the reporting of a conscious (not random but planned) act of kindness.
How many times have you had to deal with the negativity of others this week? Today? We know that anger and stress are all around us from the frustrated car driver waiting for the pedestrian to cross the road to the mom dealing with toddler tantrums...