Learning to Ride the Winds of Change

"I can't believe it's December already!"

How many of us have these words on our lips, in our hearts and minds? I know I do, and I know I can't be the only one. And so another year is closing in on us, and it is time yet again to reflect on all that had happened, as we prepare to usher in another new year.

I looked at my year end article for 2014 as I sat down to write this. My conclusion is this - if Hurricane 2014 brought with it "challenges that tested the very core of my values and faith", then the winds of 2015 brought about Changes in my life that I had never, never, expected.

Change had never been my friend. Like most people, I fear the unknown, and I have always struggled with Change of any kind. My autopilot reaction to Change has always been - avoid. Fix if it can be fixed. Keep my old clothes in the hope that I might just be able to wear them again. Yes, in many ways, I am a hoarder. A hoarder of all kinds of things. I hold on.

2015 brought about crossroads in my personal life at which I had to choose my path, one way or another. I agonised over it. I procrastinated. I hesitated big time and I made all kinds of excuses why Change is not necessary. Like many psychologists would say, I went through the "Deny" and "Resist" stages, and I stayed there for a long time. I thought it was good to persevere, and I thought I was doing the right thing. Until I learnt that perseverance does not mean endurance. I should persevere through challenges, but I should not endure pain and not confront the cause. The belief that perseverance is a virtue was in fact just another excuse for me to avoid Change.

I took a step forward to confront issues that I had been avoiding. And Changes followed suit. Once again it was proven to me that Change was more painful when I denied or resisted - once I got over the fear and the anxiety and embraced the possibilities - it turned out a lot less difficult than I had imagined. No, it was not painless. No, it was not without its challenges. But no, it was not as horrific as I had played it out in my mind.

And so as I reflect on 2015, I feel a sense of achievement. Strange, as I had started out looking at the big Changes in my life as my failure - perhaps even the biggest failure of my life, thus far, at least. I blamed myself, I got angry, I got hurt - and I thought it signified a huge black spot in my life. But looking back, I also know that it was perhaps one of the bravest moves I had ever made in my life. And despite the black spot and the consequences that came and will come with my choices, I feel that for once, I had been really brave. And yes, I count on God's grace and mercy, every single day. And for that, I feel I had grown up a little bit more.

Change is never in just one aspect of life. It sends ripples and other parts of life are affected. The winds of 2015 had brought about many other smaller but no less significant Changes. But I am feeling more and more comfortable and confident with Change and everything else that it brings.

The EQ Edge went through many significant Changes in the year. We introduced new programmes and formed many new client relationships. We made new friends, new connections locally and abroad. Our open-enrolment programmes (public programmes) had great reviews. We reached many more people this year and saw many lives impacted, in small and big ways. We are humbled by the experience, and had been totally blessed by the people we meet.

One of the biggest Change for The EQ Edge was the move to set up our Singapore subsidiary. We took a step of faith, and are excited at the possibilities that the future holds.

And we ended the year with a fantastic experience - the last major assignment for the year was our first Certification programme. This was also another Change that we had been planning for - to push ourselves to a new level, beyond our comfort zone. I had my doubts, I had my fears - but the programme turned out to be so, so, so much more than I had even dared to dream it would be. We had a wonderful group that connected so deeply in the short 5 days, and I know that we had built friendships that will last for a long, long time.

And so 2015 is ending on a very positive note. The winds are still blowing, but I am no longer stuck in my fear. Riding on the "Cycle of Engagement" of Change, I am ready for bigger Changes. Yes, I will always have fear, but courage is not the absence of fear. I will embrace Change and believe that I can always make the best out of whatever Change will bring.

I am convinced that the winds of Change in 2015 did not hit me alone. Every one of us faced Changes throughout the year, big or small. I sincerely hope that dust have settled for you, or at least had begun to settle, and that you see the way ahead a little clearer. If the winds are still stirring up a storm in your life, have faith that it will come to pass, sooner than you think. Hang in there. We are all stronger than we think. I feel a little bounce in my heart as I write this. Encouraged by the many exciting plans for 2016. I may even go back to "school". Perhaps that will be my story for next year.

Thank you, 2015. You didn't end my story, you merely opened up a new chapter. And I am ready to write the next chapter, 2016.

By Jacqueline Ong, The EQ Edge
Copyright Reserved. December 2015.